werds.

Passion.ate

so you’re passionate about skating, i must be passionate about something?! i find my highs in the daily grind- a something to look forward to on each horizon. these horizons of late are bringing a new shade of light to my spectrum. where did this homework arise from the dead? aren’t i too old for this shit?? but the question of true excitement is where i find a roadblock…

i must be excited about something. i must find passion in… anything! why am i looking so damn hard? i’m currently pursuing a career path that seems like the right fit. it’s totally different from anything i’ve known for at least the past 5 years. i feel myself convincing everyone around me that it’s the greatest thing i’ve ever done but i’m also sitting inside my own head arguing my point.  i hear it loud and clear! i love it! yet, the 10 year old me is sitting there too reminding me of how i felt about playing the piano or participating in a club or sport that seemed like a good idea at the time. how quickly will this one fade? and why must i anticipate the negative of such a positive experience… i’ve never delved so deeply into the succulent, cosmic and colorful depths of Me! 

but where is my passion? can it really just be my guilty pleasures that reward me at the end of the day? there’s loads of shame riding on that… no, those aren’t passions. i would define being passionate about something as whatever is riding the coattails of my mind at all times. that being said, my TRUE passion is just that- my Love. 

that’s all for now. 

the most beautiful man

is a man who can hold me with best of intentions in my physical, emotional and spiritual body when i have reached a point of absolute combustion. is a man who can guide me and be present with me in meditation to clear my thoughts and reground my center. is the man who just embodied that for me.